Asalaamu alaikum sisters
This is a repost of points from a sister’s post which you can find here inshaAllah… I felt the same way after my son was one year old and could not sit still during taraweeh or lectures subhanAllah. I read this and I think astughfiruallah….
“When I had my first child, I was really frustrated that my husband would enjoy taraweeh in the masjid whilst I either stayed at home or went to the masjid only to be surrounded by loads of screaming babies and kids! In a way I silently resented the fact that he was having this amazing Ramadan and I wasn’t. When I had my second child, it was almost impossible for me to even think about attending taraweeh! Until, a sister gave a beautiful talk that I attended. In it she advised us that Ramadan should not be about ‘who can get to the masjid and pray’, but rather we should make Ramadan as pleasant and as easy as possible for our husbands. Something like this, if the intention is correct, could mean a lot of reward. I don’t know about you, but I am unable to make it to taraweeh in the masjid with 3 young children and I used to feel that the loss of that type of ibaadah was so great. And whilst it is, we need to choose other ways to gain reward in this blessed month.”
Seriously, making Ramadan as easy as possible for our husbands will not only make them happy but is a simple way of gaining that ajr that we so need. So, yes, why not place a glass of water to their mouth as the Prophet (saw) used to do to Aisha (RA). Why not, iron their clothes ready for taraweeh and eid? Why not run them a nice bath to make ghusl in on yawmul jumuah?
By Allah, before I became Muslim I would never have seen myself doing these things, but you know what it is all about the intention behind deeds. In a book called ‘Winning the hearts of your husband’, the author narrates a story of one of the pious predecessors in which she was advising her daughter before she got married. She advises her ‘Be like a slave to him and he will become your slave’. Couldn’t agree more. And look at it this way too. Not only will you be gaining the pleasure of Allah and an easy way to gain extra good deeds which will also make your husband happy but it will unite the hearts between your husband and you.
from this sister’s wisdom masha’Allah, we learn:
– that we should be patient with our situation and only khair (what is good) comes from Allah subhana wa t’ala.
– if we do things with the right intention then we too, insha’Allah can gain ajer equal to what our husbands do to please Allah, and Allah subhana wa t’ala knows best.
– this month can not only bring us closer to Allah, but also to our husbands. The intention during the month of ramadhan is to please Allah and come close to Him, though through those intentions, we inadvertently make our relationship with our husband closer and more loving, Allahu alem.